Ricky Garni – 5 poems


I beef, I bitch, I bleat; I carp and fuss; I gripe; I grouch and grouse, how I grumble!

Holler I am want to do, kvetch I am known to do; I lament and moan; I murmur, yes 

with ample plaint and squawk: have you heard me whimper? I complain and whinge; 

I yammer; I make a groovy lemon pie; lemon pie; I jaunt, I galumph, I guffaw, I do; 

I don’t ponder; Groovy pie, I make a.




fee fie fo fum.


or is it fea, fi, foe, fumm?


fea makes me both think of tea 


and think of rhyming


rhyming makes me think of LEE jeans


and billy, who wore them


I would pay a substantial fee

for a cup of tasty suchong tea


or is it tee, lapsong?


I walk around all day looking for billy

since he’s dead, it’s probably silly


but he did wear LEE jeans.


he was not abnormally mean


people grow old, but it is good to have dreams

to think of all those lost ones, people and whatnot

make them into dreams like little souffle cakes


look at billy, falling asleep in a tree!


I believe in gardens that belong to me

filled with golf accessories, especially tees




What if I were to put a colon after my name? It would mean, of course, that I would have to say something, or more accurately, was about to say something. It doesn’t mean that I would be saying something important; there is no way of telling that. Sometimes it would be nice if there were. For example, I have also always thought how nice it would be if there were four lights rather than three at the crosswalk: GO, CAUTION, STOP and DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST, IT IS REALLY UP TO YOU.


DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST would give everyone an idea that something interesting was about to happen. There is no way of knowing that with GO, CAUTION, and STOP; you only know that everyone is very careful.


Still, we haven’t really considered what would happen were there to be a colon before my name rather than after. If there were a colon like that, it would be obvious that someone had just said my name. Then I would be compelled to say something, since whoever it was had just said my name, followed by a colon and silence. Perhaps they are waiting for some reply, or statement. Interesting, though, is the assumption that were there to be a colon before or after my name, that I would be saying something very soon. Before my name I would be compelled to say something very interesting, because my name is being thrust into the open, somewhat akin to the experience of a circus cannon.  After my name, it would be less dramatic, but still, a degree of drama. I would also want to say something interesting no matter what, because I do want to interest people, even when it isn’t my idea to say anything, but still, I must, my name has been spoken or written and then there is the issue of the colon. It’s funny: in my sentence there are only three lights, but I have never felt that a forth light was necessary. To me, when someone calls my name, I hear the following words: GO, CAUTION, STOP. Together they swirl and always sound more or less like the same thing to me: DO WHAT YOU FEEL IS BEST IT IS REALLY UP TO YOU–and so I say something. Usually, it is not too important. Sometimes it is, but not really. What is more important is that Yes, I finally did it. I said something, I am free, and I feel as light as a bird in flight.




the chef said all ingredients should be determined 

by weight. after all, think of the molecules of space 

between two grains of rock salt in a tablespoon. 

now think of the molecules of space between two 

grains of table salt in a table spoon. more space 

there, no? less weight and more space.


now think of the space between your mother and 

a hot apple pie. now think of the space between your

mother’s hand and the telephone. now think about

the space between your hand and a telephone.

your heart. think about that. now think about 

yourself. you really should think more about

yourself. now think more about your mother

and the desert salt on her lips and your fingers

and the weight of the space between two grains

of anything. now think about the weight of that. 

now imagine what it would feel like to fly.




And it destroyed my vacation. 

Not in the usual way: I still went. 

But I had to fly to avoid the oceans

and deserts that I predicted with my

sand. And by fly, I do mean fly, with

wings, my wings, that are golden

and warm like french fries in the

sand. I think I will go to the sky

that’s a good place to relax, I said,

away from the predictable, and into 

the and



Ricky Garni is a graphic designer living in Carrboro, North Carolina. His work can be found in EVERGREEN REVIEW, CAMEL SALOON, USED FURNITURE REVIEW, ORION HEADLESS and other places. His latest work, JANUARY, is a sequel to his earlier work, DECEMBER. Although it could be the other way around, with a lot of space in between.


About gobbet

gobbet is a literary magazine dedicated to publishing the very best experimental poetry and prose. Intellectual perversity and explorations of dark themes are positively encouraged. We are only interested in work that is progressively experimental. We want to see risks, and we want to see them pay. No previously published work. Prose should not be longer than 1000 words. There are always exceptions. Send 3-5 poems. Include a short bio. Send submissions to gobbetmag@hotmail.co.uk Work will be published every 5-10 days. We also intend to publish anthologies of selected work published in gobbet. We will do our best to reply promptly. Most submissions will receive a decision within a month.
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